Thursday, January 15, 2009

Top 5 things to tell a telemarketer!

5. Say you are hard of hearing and see how loud they will shout into the phone.

4. Keep repeating, “I knew you were going to say that”.

3. Allow the telemarketer to fully explain his offer. When he is finished explain that his company hired you to randomly spot check telemarketers on their performance. Tell him that he did a good job overall, but that he is a bit monotone and needs to fluctuate his tone of voice more to sound convincing. He also should pause longer between sentences, and more clearly pronounce the letter ’s’. Tell him you won’t report him if he repeats his speech to you with the appropriate corrections. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

2. Every few minutes repeat, “You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem, who is this again?”

1. Mid pitch, stop him and complement him on his wonderful voice. Explain that you are a voiceover scout and might have a breakthrough commercial job for him. Ask if he wouldn’t mind doing a quick test. Ask him to say in a deep husky voice “May cause dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and shortness of breath. A small number of participants in a recent clinical trial experienced weight loss, irregular clotting, abnormally frequent and/or painful urination and hair loss. Results may vary”


Allison said...

I think this is my favorite post yet! I usually don't answer the phone when telemarketers call. However . . . now I am looking forward to one calling . . . LOVE IT!!!!

PixelFish said...

My dad keeps trying to sue them.

wendy said...

Which one should I try first?

My problem is that they are mostly recordings these days. I've never listened long enough to leave a message.... until now that is!!

Jeremy said...

I had a job as a telemarketer about 8 years ago. I was selling cell phones over the phone. It was horrible. I would rather shovel poop for less money then do that job again.