Friday, October 31, 2008

Measuring Time in lbs.

75 pounds ago. Ruth and I were married.

This picture was taken at our reception in an LDS Stake Center (notice the overflow accordion doors) in Van Nuys, California.

Notice how happy she looks? This is because she thought all of these kisses I was giving her was joy from our new marriage and that soon the novelty would wear off and I'd calm down and stop kissing her so much.


It surely was joy, but the kisses never stopped. I am berserk about kissing. Some would say, "broken." How many times do you suspect I kiss Ruth in a day? 5- 10? Guess again... I'd bet if you took our whole marriage and divided all the kisses into days it would probably come out to...say...somewhere around 150-200 kisses per day. Uh um. Everyday. That my friends is a boatload of kisses.

OK, so I'm affectionate.

Then there's these men that I've kissed on the head:
  • Jeremy Rigby (brother)
  • Dave Hope (brother)
  • Brett Reagan (son in-law)
  • Travis Hatch (son in-law)
  • Larry Mitchell (father in-law)
  • Ron Mitchell (brother in -law)
  • Dave Heaton (my chiropractor (hey, who wouldn't))
  • Dave Manion (best old boss ever)
  • Mark Anderson (co-worker)
  • Scott Vermeys (co-worker)
  • Glen something (Alaska Airlines Pilot)
  • Larry Long (co-worker)
  • Cody Lovelace (co-worker)
  • Jeremy Ames (random guy)
  • James Walk (random guy)
  • Scean Ripley (former ecclesiastic leader)
  • Sean Atkisson (former ecclesiastic leader)
  • Bum Guy at Circle K* (no spare change)
  • Bum Guy at 7-11* (no spare change)
  • Point Defiance Zoo Keeper guy (let one our guests in for free)
  • Kary Yates (random guy)
  • John Lewis (Timesheet guy at work)
None of these men have enjoyed my kisses. They all just look at my wife as if to say, "That man aint right!"

Bizarre I know. Involuntarily my lips search out and kiss. Inevitable, kind of like:
  • when a broom finds a dusty floor.
  • when a willow witch finds water.
  • a compass finds magnetic north.
  • the phone rings when your in the shower.
  • my son buys another pair of Nike's.
  • President Bush saying "Merica" as in, "We live in 'Merica, the home of the brave."
  • birds fly into windows.
  • bums beg for "bus fare."
  • your cell phone battery dies when your getting directions.
  • electrical current follows ground.
  • birds fly south (then into windows).
You get the picture.

A couple of theories:
  1. Perhaps I'm an Italian and don't know it.
  2. Perhaps it's more serious. Follow me here...Ever have a "downs syndrome" friend? I have had lots of friends that are "downs syndrome." I relate really well. A common theme among "downs" folk is that they are extremely friendly and lovey dovey. Sounds like me huh? I could be "downs syndrome" and was never told. Maybe my parents didn't want to tell me because they had already told me that I was color blind.
In any event, I think I've created a monster. Here's a current picture of Ruth now when I try to kiss her.

Too much of a good thing? Probably.


Jessumca said...

moms cute angry and happy!

Jessumca said...

i also have to say that its ok that you are affectionate. travis wouldn't be where he is today if you hadn't kissed him.

PixelFish said...

Wow, and I thought we were being oh-so-sneaky when we positioned Ruth under the mistletoe at your reception. All that hard work and you would have kissed her anyway.

PixelFish said...

Also, my boyfriend says I look a bit like Aunt Ruth when I am growling. We share a genetic growl, I guess. :)

Jessumca said...

and one more thing! i gained at LEAST 75 pounds within the first year of being married. (i was pregnant) so don't feel bad about gaining anything near that over 24 or 25 years. plus you look good!

Brent Hope said...

Yeah but....

You got a nice baby boy.

I've got bad breath and gas.


Sonja said...

ok, I think a more accurate measure of time for you would be in kisses.

I LOVE that picture of you and Ruth. The picture of Ruth growling is just hilarious. Hilarious, I say!

Jeremy said...

I don't know what you're talking about...I enjoy EVERY TIME you kiss me!

Don't worry about down syndome, you have Timo to be your down syndrome pal.

I love the pic of Ruth!

Wendy said...

I have suspected downs for a while now...
right around the 875,462,999th kiss.
Big kiss, little hug, little kiss, big kiss, big hug, little kiss, big hug