Thursday, July 23, 2009

Got Colon?

My Mother and Father died when they were 60 and 62 respectively. My Mother died of cancer but my Father died in his sleep with what we thought was some sort of stomach or colon cancer. I have no idea why an autopsy wasn't performed to determine the cause of death...

OK. I'm bitter about that. (I'll save that for another day)

Nonetheless, when my doctor heard the above story he demanded that I get a colonoscopy done ASAP to ensure that I'm healthy and fit below the equator. So, after a month or so of rescheduling due to flat out panic, I am submitting myself like a death row inmate to the Flying J Truck Stop (isn't that where they are all performed?) tomorrow morning where the doctor will perform this nasty procedure.

Initially I heard that I would be able to sleep through this procedure with the help of anesthetic. Today I learned that this would not be the case. Instead they'll give me a drug to make me "loopy."

(Insert your own joke: Here)


My "procedure" will be tomorrow at 8:30AM (for you well wishers). The evil doctor has asked me to drink a gallon bottle of anti-freeze this evening.

So I am alone with a bottle of anti-freeze and condemned to not stray to far from the indoor terlet.

Should something go horribly wrong, know that I love you all. Blast.

Best Wishes.


Becka said...

Oh, Brentie!

I certainly do not envy you right now. But rest "loopily" assured that we will be thinking of you and prayer for a quick and clean procedure.

We love you!

Jeremy said...

Every mans nightmare. Best wishes back at you.

Sister Burke said...

I'm glad you are going ahead with it. Don't forget to do the prostate exam later on now you've got the courage to do what needs to be done. Ruth does not deserve to be a widow at a young age!!

Anonymous said...

I need you to tell them that you need some of that "loopy" medicine to go. I will contact you later to explain why.
I wonder if the doctor named his probe?
Please do not touch the affected area.
Oh and i need your time sheet.

wendy said...

You know how to celebrate Pioneer Day... i guess you can be grateful for the loopy stuff, i sqiver to think what they did in the olden days. Of course maybe they did nothing and thus . . . okay I guess we've heard enough!! Good Luck... if you can live through this I'm guessing you can live through just about anything. Bottoms Up!! ouch... that was a bad one

Sonja said...

Brent!! Are you still there?? post something so that I know you're still alive! We love you too!