Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April Fools Day of My Youth - Or when I completely stopped trusting adults


Ah yes April Fools Day. I can remember many times being gullible enough to believe some of the outlandish stories that were presented to me on this day (OK so I'm trusting!).

Here's a gentle April Fools story from my youth:

We lived on a small one acre lot in Salem Idaho back when I was in the 6th grade. All around us were huge farms that featured big equipment, humongous bales of hay, grain silos and farm animals.

I would spend a lot of my after-school time next door at our neighbors farm. They were sweet people and would allow me full access to everything on their property. So, one day I'd climb bales of hay (which seemed to be much taller than any houses nearby) the next day I'd hang out with the milking cows. During the spring of my 6th grade year I went over to the my neighbors farm and discovered that they had purchased a bunch of weened lambs. The lambs were in a pen that had scattered straw and a couple of hay bales. I was awestruck by these sweet, gentle and playful animals. For the next week I would spend every day after school in that pen playing with my new friends, the lambs.
When the lambs would leave the outdoor pen and go inside their indoor pen I could hear them clunk around against the walls of their night time home. The clunking was caused by the lamb, being unsure of his surroundings, he would bump against the walls of his dwelling until calmed and then the clunking would stop. I sooooo wanted one of these lambs!! I desperately informed my mother and step-father that I had to have one. I pleaded for a couple of weeks!!
Then, one day after school, I got of the bus and walked up the L-shaped dirt driveway to our home. Before getting to the home I saw my mother standing by an out building. She had a beautiful energetic smile on her face and she was kind of "running in place" while excitedly telling me to come over and look inside the out building. As I approached, I wondered what kind of surprise awaited. Happy (like Christmas happy) my mom announced that they had purchased a baby lamb for me!! I stopped dead in my tracks, a few feet from the door of the wooden outbuilding and listened to the "clunking" against the inside wall of the structure. "YES!! I know that sound!!" I thought.
That was unmistakeably the sound of a young nervous lamb bumping against the wooden wall! My eyes turned into saucers and both hands covered my wide open excited mouth!!
Mom excitedly said, "Go inside!!"
I thrust open the door with a racing pulse and looked all around wildly!
There was no lamb.
Instead I saw my step-father (evil step-father) kneeling down in the corner of the building, gently tapping the wooden wall with a hammer, replicating the sound of a baby lamb "clunking" into things.
I was speechless. With mouth wide-open I looked at the hammer, then to my step-father and back at the hammer. I marveled when I realized that he too knew all about the "clunking" sounds that a young lamb makes. Looking at my step-father, he flashed an evil and wicked smile.
Then in unison they both announced, "APRIL FOOLS DAY!"

I heard Psycho music.

Still with mouth open my eyes began to well up with huge tears. I had been had. I had been sucked into this nasty (but genius) April Fools Day joke. I turned and ran to the house sobbing like mad. I think I was more embarrassed than anything. Blast!

8 comments:

Jessumca said...

oh thats the saddest joke ever! i think you deserved a lamb after that prank! poor daddy. i enjoyed your writing though!

Jeremy said...

What the? I don't know whether to laugh or freakin' cry?

I would be bitter...still.

Roo Roo's Corner said...

Very nice writing! I felt like I was there. But... that was sooo cruel! That story always makes me sad for you!

Brent Hope said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Thomas Family said...

Boo Hoo Hoo, please pass the tissues...sniff. Man this story really made my heart break...I need a hug! Sniff.

Sonja said...

Dang it, that is the saddest thing.
Blast, indeed.

And that's why I say we should just stop all this April Fools nonsense.

Poo.

Amber Hope said...

Awe, how sad pops! i didn't even know that story about you. Hence the reason you brought chickens and dachshunds home.

wendy said...

I'm bring you a lamb he next time we come!! That is why they don't write stories about step-fathers, step-mothers just keep you home from the ball.

I'm glad I didn't need to borrow your toity on April 1. ouch!!