Tuesday, July 29, 2008

John Lewis Exposed

Thousands of you "Daily Item" readers complained, so I took action. Here's a couple flattering pictures of John Lewis. He's the guy who's daughter crushed our family age record of jumping off of a bridge into water below. I have proof that will ultimately disqualify his daughter. You can go here to see her jump: http://fishbigwood.blogspot.com/2008/07/bridgee-jumping.html
After looking at the picture you can read my comments which are completely valid.
I've seen John on more than one occasion drive with his eyes closed. He calls it, "Skills." I call it knuckleheadedness.

This is the poor woman who has to deal with John on a daily basis. This is his wife....Mrs. Lewis. Let's give Mrs. Lewis a big "Daily Item" round of applause for sticking out mortality with John.

The Truth:
OK, I'll tell the whole truth. John is the guy who recruited me to Cox Sun Valley. It is John that saved me from the blazing hot Tucson sun. When I moved here in January I had the good fortune of staying with John's family for a month. It was a very nice experience. John is a very good person (except for that one thing). When John gets too smart for his britches I remind him that he was a Jordan Beet Digger.


Lewis Family said...

"Many daily item readers complained?"
So to all three of those readers, including myself, I apologize for saying "screw" on Brent's posting comments.

As for the kids jumping record thing...Jump...Push... it matters not. Annabelle WINS!!!

As for the vicious, malignant, sadistic, attack on my character i say.....I AM the boss of you.

So Screwwww yoouuuu Hoooope!!!

Oh and your fired.

Lewis Family said...


Your still fired!!!

Sarah Hope :] said...

HAHA! john- what kind-a face is that!? heh heh you make me laugh (in a good way)

Sonja said...

Wow. all I can say is:
What's up with the mohawk?
that, and:
can't we all just get along?