Thursday, May 7, 2009

Today's Rant: The M-Word and T-Word

Howdy folks.

It is very discouraging for me to have to talk about the subject of today's rant. I have waited and waited patiently but apparently the problem will not just "go-away" so I have to address this issue and make it public.

What gives with all of the electronics companies and the remote controls that they manufacture?? Specifically I'm talking about the rotten, careless, stinking button that exists on EVERYBODY'S remote control: The Mute Button (shiver- I hate to even use the word). Do we not as a society care a smidgen about anyone anymore??? Do you have any idea how bad the usage of this word offends my friend that cannot speak, he is often called a "MUTE" (shiver- I hate to even use the M-word).

I am certain that my "Silent-American" friends all over this once great country feel horrible every time they pick up a remote control to SILENCE the volume on their electronic devices and instead see "Mute" (shiver-) on the assigned button glaring back up at them. My "Silent-American" friends look at the remote control and can plainly see how the M-word (as I call it) glares up at them from the assigned button and mocks them, "You're mute, nanny nanny, ha ha!"

How downright despicable and cruel!!

I'm ashamed. I'm so mad at this country and how stupid Americans are that we allow this tragedy to continue day in and day out!! I've contacted Sen Maria Cantwell (D) and she's taking my fight to Washington DC!

Nothing could possibly be more important!!

The Solution:

Like France and other European countries (that are smarter than us) that are already doing this I am calling for all Americans to stop using the "M-Word" and demand that electronics companies start labeling their remotes with the word "Silence" instead of M***.

This will no doubt restore dignity to my good speechless "Silent-American" friends.

Hold on a minute, I've got to take this call....
"Do I have any speechless friends you ask?"
"Do I actually know any speechless people?"
"Well, no, not really..."
"I saw one once!"
"But if I did know a real "Silent-American" person, I know that they would be offended and this is the only way to restore dignity!"

Everyone...please join me in refraining from using the "M-Word." We are better than that.

Last thing:

Looking at the picture of the remote control, do you see the "Timer" button?
Is that button offensive to anyone else?
Do you have any idea how many youngsters call me old "Timer?"

People...I know you wouldn't want to be called the "T-Word."

Something to think about!


Jeremy said...

I'm enjoying this Today's Rant theme you got going on.

I'll never forget last fall when Hilary Clinton said English should not be called the official language of the U.S. Instead, English is the "common unifying language."

What a retard. Oops did I say that?

Anonymous said...

Hilary is HOT.... Leave her out of this.